big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
