Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
