This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
