Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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