2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
