Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
