When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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