i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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