That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
