I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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