ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
