that's an acceptable place to lick
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize