Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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