"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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