M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize