Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I need help removing her.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
