just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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