I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
