so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
