so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
