I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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