i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
