We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
smell my finger.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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