I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
