pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
