So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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