I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
