I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
