I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
