could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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