If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
