I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm just crazy horny about you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
