umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
