dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
