so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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