Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
