Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
