Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
