I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
