Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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