I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
