it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
