i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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