I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
