Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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