Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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