Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
