I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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