Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i am craving dick and cupcakes
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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