Plan B is the new Plan A
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your penis caused this!
I had to cum in my sink.
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