oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
