I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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