I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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